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The Last Meeting

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Dear diary, 

Sometimes, it’s the ending which teaches us of how the beginnings are meant to be. Before I start , I want to tell you ,I always loved you most ardently. You are the reason which inspired me to breathe for such long years. I always tried to confess it, but never did, because I never felt it important, but as a father ,I should be the one to teach you the things that a person should know when he or she is dealing with a relationship. The dilemma you are facing in case of your husband is just not justified . Life has taught me so much in these years that the day Aditya came to see me , I have seen loyalty in his eyes. And believe me my girl , life is too difficult all alone . It’s too difficult when it shatters you when we depart from our loved one. I don’t want you to live a life without love. I truly don’t want you to cry alone, laugh alone , tackle alone . I don’t want you to live the life I lived .

It is hard to survive with difficulties , with hurdles, with negatives but it’s more difficult to survive without love, to survive with the absence of the person who really means you alot. Forgetting them is not even a choice left with you . I was 15 when I fell for her beautiful eyes , mesmerizing voice, soothing smile and innocence of her alluring glow . I met her in a camp surrounded by the beauty of nature. I loved her with all my soul and mind. We talked and talked . Our first meeting was of course not that romantic, but yes it was the most beautiful love story I could have ever narrated to you. I would have narrated it very fully only if I would have much time left with me. 

Kavya, she was my everything. My dad and my mom loved each other and they were not accepted , my mom was insulted badly everyday . Well , then one day she left my father and taking me along ,came to Hyderabad. I was never happy with my life. A life without a father is not less than a hell. But the day since I met kavya , I was healing . I loved her and she loved me. I used to share everything with her. We spent 9 years together , collecting a huge amount of memories with her. Then one day , I got stuck with something which I couldn’t avoid . I got an opportunity to study medicine in Korea and went . The last I met her , I hugged her as tight as possible. I never wanted to part from her. I missed her every day and night. 

4 years passed. And I came back .I wanted her to be the first person to meet . She was uninformed about my arrival. But believe me she gave me even bigger surprise. The unexpected thing ever happened to me. It was the 17th of January when she left the world , a brain tumour stuck her nerves before a year and she left all of us alone. She denied everyone to inform it to me. I will not say how heartbreaking it was to me when she left me . Imagine, a person for whom life has always been so unfair. He lost his that one light of hope. I can merely explain it with words but one thing I was sure that she knew how much I loved her. I tried my best to forget her, believe me , I was failed , failed badly . I tried even harder to love someone else. So , I decided not to forget her and leave with her memories and dreams. Ashadevi foundation is one of them and the most beautiful dream , she ever watched is my daughter . 

Then one day, I realized how self-centered I have been . Even I forgot about my mother who raised me with such difficulties. I decided to be happy . I got married to your mother. I decided to live with her, love her, believe me I did. But every time I looked into her eyes . I used to keep finding the eyes which are never going to be back. I know you love her so much. I apologise for being such a bad husband.

And then one day , she gave me the idea of the most wonderful thing I could have done in my life. I adopted you. Kavya always wanted to raise a daughter , to justify her with all those things she longed for. Don’t be a fool like your father . Believe me , loving someone is even more difficult. But you know what ,my baby, you don’t have to be sad for me. I’m going to close my eyes with all satisfaction. I’m satisfied and blessed with a daughter like you, a wife like your mother. I would never ask for anything more. I’m sure you are not going to make the wrong decision. Think wisely and get to the point. I’m always there with you.

This was the last story that my dad narrated to me when he was counting his last hours. I can remember the countless tears ,he shaded while narrating it to me .My dad, Dr.Shravan saxena. That was the day when I realized that my mom is a real headstrong woman, whom I considered to be an emotional one. But she loved him. She loved him more than anything and I think that’s the reason why she loved everything he loves. I have seen it in her eyes . The satisfaction she holds with her nerves just to be with him. Yes , I am adopted but I never felt it. Well ! I should thank kavya for it . Infact , I must thank her. It was she who made my father adopt me. 

That was my last meeting with my father and that was the last and everlasting memory of my life. For some days, after he departed , I used to think often how can a person still be in love with someone who doesn’t even exist anymore? How can a person still be in love with someone who doesn’t even love her back? How can a person still be in love with someone till her last breath even without any confession? But then I think that’s what love is . It binds you with a feeling that you can’t even imagine in your wildest dreams until and unless you fall in it all by yourself . It doesn’t have any limitations . It doesn’t have any definition and probably the most complicated verse . Those who believe it , cherish it. Doesn’t matter if the person is with us or not and those who don’t , they just avoid it and consider it a foolish act. 

Well ! Whatever that may be . One thing I fetched from my life “ love can have it’s own different forms . It can be untouched, unexpected, unpredictable but still beautiful. I guess that is the only reason why it hasn’t have a proper definition till now. Love doesn’t occur between two perfect people but true love makes them just perfect for each other. I can’t even imagine any other person as perfect as my father. When you love someone , you have to find happiness around them and you will have to find them their happiness around you. After this , I don’t believe that long distance relationship doesn’t work because I encountered a long distance relationship that worked till their last breaths too from a distance right from up in the heavens to down to the earth. Well !  Dad , I miss you and believe me I’m going to reconstruct the lost love in my married life too. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. 

Love,

Shravya

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