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Rewrite Stars

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Disclaimer : The experience would be doubled if you hear the original song ‘Rewrite the Stars’ before or while reading the story. Click here to listen the song.

You know I want you

It’s not a secret I try to hide

I know you want me

So don’t keep saying our hands are tied

This song took me to the past. I always loved music and will do it forever. But this song is carrying my story. Story that I need to forget, but still running through my eyes as if it happened yesterday. Even though it all happened twenty years ago, I can still reminisce about the moments spent with her. My father settled in Canada about forty years ago. Henna is our neighbor’s daughter. Her father was a priest and unfortunately a religious freak. Her father always insisted Henna not to play or talk with me cause I am a muslim. We studied in the same school, went to the same park to play, and we always talked, played and laughed together. Her smile! God! We talked so much that I don’t have any other friends in the school to talk to and neither did she. She never told her father about me cause she never wanted to hurt or make him feel bad because of her. We missed each other during the night, so we used to leave our windows open which are exactly opposite to each other and we do our own stuff feeling that we are in the same room. I knew what we have between us is more than a friendship and she knew it too. We never said anything lovely or romantic to each other but we both knew it exists between us. In the last year of our graduation, her father told her that she has to marry someone in their religion whose father is a priest too. Since then, she started being normal with me like with any other friend. I knew about her marriage and when I asked about it, she used to skip the topic. I felt she tied her hands herself.

You claim it’s not in the cards

Fate is pulling you miles away

And out of reach from me

But you’re here in my heart

So who can stop me if I decide

That you’re my destiny?

I never wanted to push her as I believe she knows everything and I left it to her to decide. From her words and actions, I understood that she didn’t want to disappoint her father or she feels what’s happening between us is not good anymore. One day her marriage was decided to be held in another state where her fiance lives. From then, she started looking at me like she already stepped out of my life and she felt that her destiny was already written. Can’t we change what’s about to happen according to our will? Why is she trying to refrain herself from coming to me? How can her father design her destiny? I can feel her within me every second even if she is not around. This was happening since the day she decided to talk to me avoiding her father’s restrictions. She did what she wanted to do back then but now why is she doing according to her father? Who can stop us if we decide we are our destiny?

What if we rewrite the stars?

Say you were made to be mine

Nothing could keep us apart

You’d be the one I was meant to find

It’s up to you, and it’s up to me

No one can say what we get to be

So why don’t we rewrite the stars?

Maybe the world could be ours

Tonight

When there is a week left for her marriage, I decided to take her to the carnival on december 31st. Though I never wanted to push her opinions, I wanted her to show how beautiful it can be if she decides to rewrite the stars. She came out that day in her beautiful white skirt, she looked at me and smiled. Her smile! God! When we were walking to the carnival, we talked about nothing. I don’t know what’s going on in her beautiful mind. I couldn’t stop words slipping out of my mouth. I told her what I felt at the moment, ‘look how beautiful we are when we stay together.’ She just smiled in response. When we entered the carnival, we played and roamed like how we used to do when we were kids. We never used to follow anything said by our parents. We used to buy what we wanted and used to play what we like. When we are doing that again, I thought why don’t she come with me? Why don’t we rewrite the stars? I can see something in her eyes. The way she is looking at me makes me feel that this would be the last moments with her. I can hear her eyes.

You think it’s easy

You think I don’t want to run to you

But there are mountains

And there are doors that we can’t walk through

Hasim is our neighbour. Since my childhood I know that my father never like Hasim’s family because they are not in our religion. My father never responded to their greetings or any other calls. So they realised the religious mind of our father and stopped trying to mingle. There are very strict rules in our house not to talk with any of Hasim’s family. When we were in the same school, I realised there is nothing wrong with Hasim. He used to smile whenever he offered me food or a hand while playing. His smile! God! We eventually became very good friends. When we are in graduation, I know I love him and I know he loves me too. I know my father would never let me marry Hasim, but I cannot stop running to him. So I gathered my wit and told my father that I love Hasim. He got a panic attack. When he recovered, he told me that I can go if I want to, but he said, ‘Please bury my coffin and your mother’s right next to each other.’ That shook me off. I thought, is my love worth two lives? I told my father that I will marry anyone he wants me to. He then arranged a marriage with her friend’s son. I still want Hasim, but how can I walk through a locked door?

I know you’re wondering why

Because we’re able to be

Just you and me

Within these walls

But when we go outside

You’re going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all

From that day, whenever I see Hasim, it reminds me that I have to leave him soon forever. I know he won’t push me about my decisions but I can see how badly he wants me. Before my marriage was decided, Hasim’s father told me that he knows Hasim loves me. He said, ‘I know how your family treats us. I know how disrespectful your father is with us. I don’t want my son to go through your father’s words.’ He hadn’t said it straight but the point was clear to me. I don’t want Hasim to know about this neither his father. When we are together, it feels there is no world other than us, but when we see through the walls we can see the mountains that we cannot walk through and how hopeless it is to think of us.

No one can rewrite the stars

How can you say you’ll be mine?

Everything keeps us apart

And I’m not the one you were meant to find

It’s not up to you

It’s not up to me

When everyone tells us what we can be

How can we rewrite the stars?

Say that the world can be ours

Tonight

When there is a week left before my marriage. Hasim asked me to come to the carnival on december 31st evening. I now decided that I have to marry the boy my father has chosen and there is no way I can rewrite the stars.So I decided to have a proper goodbye with Hasim before I leave him. I want to tell him how we cannot be together when everyone wants us to be apart. I want to tell him how it is not in my hands to decide my destiny.  He came to meet me in his white shirt and he smiled. His smile! God! We walked to the carnival and I spoke about nothing. When he said how beautiful it is when we were together, I tried to tell him that this is not what it looks like. Late at the night right before 12 o’clock, giant wheels will be stopped where people in the top boxes can see the new year fireworks all over the sky. We played and roamed all over the carnival like how we used to be as kids. When it was about 12 we entered into one of the giant wheels and It started to spin.

All I want is to fly with you

All I want is to fall with you

So just give me all of you

We always enjoyed giant wheels. When it started to spin up, I felt as if we were going away from the world. With each spin, we are leaving the reality on earth behind and getting closer to the stars. We reached the top of the giant wheel and it stopped. There were only a few minutes to 12. At that moment all I wanted to do was hold his hand and look into his eyes. I lost in my thoughts. Can I do it forever? Is it possible?

It feels impossible

Is it impossible?

Say that it’s possible

When the thoughts were running through my head, I held his hand and started looking into his eyes. He seemed lost in my eyes. It was all quiet on the top, and there were only the stars that were watching us. He took my other hand too. While looking straight into my eyes, he kissed me. Fireworks started filling the sky in the background.

How do we rewrite the stars?

Say you were made to be mine?

Nothing can keep us apart

‘Cause you are the one I was meant to find

I lost all my senses while tasting her lips. I don’t know what prompted me to kiss her but I did it. She kissed me back as if she was holding the emotions for so long. The fireworks moved the existing stars to obscurity and in a way they seemed like the rewritten stars. I couldn’t stop tears dropping from my eyes neither did she.

It’s up to you

And it’s up to me

No one can say what we get to be

And why don’t we rewrite the stars?

Changing the world to be ours

When the fireworks were done, we came back to our seats and we didn’t utter a word. Now the stars are visible all over the sky. Giant wheel started to spin down. With each spin, we are getting closer to the reality. We finally came down. When we were about to leave the place, I took her hand and looked at her and I tried to express how much I want her through my eyes. She looked back to me and I found my answers.

You know I want you

It’s not a secret I try to hide

But I can’t have you

We’re bound to break and my hands are tied

That was the last time I saw her. Now even after twenty years, when I listen to this song, I can still see her smile and wonder, Her smile! God!

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