I always end up here if I felt like giving up or depressed… And that’s very often. One can say that they can find me here pretty much every day by dusk – as the day ends. Standing here, at the tallest building in our city. Leaning over the railing and watching these peoples going on with their routine lives. It’s a strange feeling but that’s what helps me keep going day after day.
I thought I wouldn’t be able to come here today. Sigh, they announced having special evening class out of nowhere. So guess I bunked the class and sneaked out of the school. Not that I don’t care about my studies but it’s been a rough week and they’re up and about to keep another round of mock exams. Sometimes I even wonder why I’m pushing myself hard or if this is what I truly want for myself, not that there’s someone out there relying on me or to worry about me. I mostly keep to myself in school, having an invisible board hanging around my neck reading “Stay Away”. So, I suppose you can guess how my school life goes.
Uff! I exhaled out as I reached the rooftop. That’s one thing I hate it here, gotta climb a hell lot – after all it’s an abandoned building so, no elevators – yup, an abandoned building or else how am I going to get free access here for every damn day being a nobody. I’ll for sure miss this place a lot – that’s an understatement – if someone buys it or if the reconstruction work starts… Well, I’ll worry about it when the time comes.
I locked the door to the rooftop and went towards the rails. It’s near dusk. The sunset from here is mesmerizing – it has a different hue to it, that it makes you forget everything else. The wind is breezing slowly as if it’s hymning a tune with the chirps of birds in perfect sync with it.
Streets are busy with adults returning home or dropping their kids at coaching class, some classes seemed to have started already and as usual the students are either getting scolded, sleepy or not interested and very few are actually listening because of their interest… I moved my gaze from the coaching center’s window. By the playground on the roadside, little kids are running around playing and laughing wholeheartedly. Buzzing sound of vehicles indicating they are eager to go home or they are getting impatient… Everyone seems to be in their own world.
While I am here standing in the rooftop of the tallest building – all alone, at peace – and watching over everything. Humming along with the melody of nature. Lost somewhere deep in thoughts. This place gives me a comfort, the silence here is comfortable.
“Kid, what are you looking at?”
Gosh, that startled me! But I am sure that I’m the only person here, how did anyone come in!? I even locked the door to rooftop… I turned to face the person but no one was there.
“You want to see me?” the voice chuckled.
“Who are you?” I asked unsure of everything that’s happening here.
“You haven’t answered me thou”
I can hear him giggling at the end of his sentence. He sure as hell is enjoying to see me panic. Frustrated, I turned around and leaned over the rail, looking down. Then an answer escaped my mouth without my realization, “People”
“Tsk! you sound so lonely kid. Why, do you have any regrets? Why are you watching all those happy faces?”
I don’t know… Do I have any regrets? Am I lonely? Or do they have something that I don’t…? But I do this all the time, when I feel like giving up, when I want to run away… I always end up here…
“Kiddo, if I say I’m offering you ONE WISH. Which can remove the regret in your heart, will you smile again?”
“What are you?” it did come out rude than I expected it to. But well, you can’t blame me. He is starting to get on my nerve.
“You rude brat, is this your attitude to your benefactor”
I don’t know what he replied, I just asked that to shut him up. All that I hear is, Happy faces… Regrets… happy faces…
“Hey kiddo, are you planning to ignore me? Well, look I’m someone who can help you fulfill one of your wishes… ok fine, let’s keep it that way – ignore each other – plus I don’t even know you” *Sigh, I do know who you are* he thought.
“You say they are happy faces…” I can feel someone’s presence behind me. But I don’t want to turn around.
“You will fulfill any of my wish?”
“Yes, that’s what I said” *ugh wait how did the tables turn like this? Wasn’t I supposed to be the one to ask?? Ahh! I don’t know anymore; I’ll just go with the flow*
There was a long pause.
What I want? What’s my regret? Who’s this guy, he came out of nowhere and placed me with all the questions I’ve been wondering about. Happy faces… he says. Sigh. I stretched my hand out towards all of them down there.
“I don’t want anyone to suffer from regrets – regrets of broken dreams, lost love, hurting their loved ones just so they will be safe, sorrows – death of their close ones, parting with someone, hurting with words without meaning it, miseries – life taking diseases, worrying about money, bankrupt, food, jobless, family, fame, betrayals – by a friend or any closed ones with whom they grew up with, back stabbers, humiliated, fear… I – I just don’t want this world to run behind it, worrying about future and missing the now… and I wish they all can enjoy the present and spend time with the ones around them rather than running a blind race then coming to regret for spending little time with others, and to enjoy all the small moments and be truly happy –”
*This kid took me by surprise, I thought it would be some selfish request…* “Are you sure? You don’t want anything –”
“You say, happy faces? Look at them – everyone whom you said to be having happy faces. They all are fighting a battle. You think they have everything… but what if that is not what they want. Everyone is forced to live a life that is not theirs at some point of their life… once they are alone away from everyone, they break down, they’re exhausted pretending to be happy, pretending to be someone they aren’t… yet we take everything for granted, bullying others, hurting each other, betrayal, strong lives, weak doesn’t matter, robbery…
But… at the end of the day, we all are just trying to survive, protect someone we love, wishing to spend more time with them, giving our all… Wishing tomorrow will be different, hoping someone will hear our scream, someone to notice us. A world without all these sufferings and hurt, a world filled only with happiness and enjoyment…”
I paused and looked up, such a world “…would be a waste.”
*Seriously, what is even going on in that little mind of this kid!?* he thought *It’s as though this little one has lived for centuries and experienced everything this life has got to throw.*
“Only if one becomes blind, will they know how precious is to see and how to cherish the sight. A world without darkness, light won’t be cherished nor will they know it’s true worth. They will also get fed up with it. So,” now I know the answer for all my questions, I gave a little smile as I continued “give them hope and the strength to face and survive all this and by the end of the day let them all find their own happiness.”
The sun as set and the wind is passing through me, softly. The streets got busier since more adults are getting out of their work or coming out to buy stuffs. I felt a hand pat my head, for some strange reason I was comfortable and felt warmth in this touch. Perhaps I do know who he is.
“As you wish” He whispered in my ear.
Something’s ringing, ugh… it sounds like my alarm. Gosh am I late!? Startled I sat up.
Wait, I’m – I looked around – in my room…? How did I come back to my room? Why don’t I remember anything after that?
I turned to my bedside desk. Sigh, am not late. Next to the clock sat the photo frame of me with my dad. We took it when I was very small. I can’t help as a smile spread through my lips. Maybe it was a dream or my illusion but I can’t help and be a bit crazy to think that it wasn’t either… it felt real, so real. For the warmth is still there where he patted my head. And someone there’s a feeling left telling me he is right here by my side, always.