LETTING GO

And there we were sitting on the bench near the lake, gazing at the starlight that burst from the sky and reflected its blisters on the river making the horizon look majestic, like the stars have fallen and come to life. Twinkling in their own glory.

“I wish I could be that star, you know. The one that shines really bright.” He said and I smiled at the thought of us being together despite of the differences that we created or probably the circumstances that we always blamed.

“Yes I remember you always wanted to be different from the others. Remember when we were kids and would make ourselves some stupid but delicious pancakes. Yours would always be in the shape of a star.” I smiled at the memories that we shared. Nothing was the same. I wish I could go back to those old days and live them again. Above all I wish I had the courage to tell him what I was dying to say, but was not able to succumb the guts. 

I never was the brave one. He had it all. The braveness, smartness, attitude, charm everything. And I loved him. Yes I did. I wanted to shout out to the world about my love but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

He smiled at me with those brown eyes of his and I got lost in those eyes. The one that reminded me of the best times of my life. 

We both continued gazing at the stars and the lake and there was silence. We never talked that much. That was the best thing about our friendship. We understood each other very well. 

“Do you know that, if we go into the lake right now, we could freeze to death.” He said. I laughed and put my head on his shoulders. It was comforting. I closed my eyes and inhaled his sent. The musk and sandalwood smell always mesmerized me. 

The night was about to end. The stars were getting lighter and lighter as the night was at its full glory. It was dark and we just sat there.

“Are you ready for this?” I asked with a sigh. 

“I don’t know. I am probably confused and I’m just… I don’t know what’s happening to me. I need you to tell me what I should do.” He said with a little bit of nervousness.

“What would you do without me my dear. Don’t be tensed about it. Everything will work out. You’ll be happy. I promise.” I said.

” In the next 6 hours my life is gonna change. I hope I can keep her happy. I have loved her since a long time. Can you believe it’s been 3 years already and I’m still so much in love with her. I never thought I’d marry someone and that too this early in my life. Love was never something that interested me. But the moment she entered my life, I was sure about it. But I don’t know why now I am suddenly feeling like I’m losing something. Something very precious. I can’t help myself.” He said being a little anxious.

“Don’t worry buddy you’ll do well. And you know at times I feel that you both are meant to be. And I know you. We’ve been attached to the hips since we were kids. So shut up and just enjoy the moment. You are going to start a new life with her. Be happy about it. You know I love you and I’ll always be here for you.” I said my eyes watering with every word I spoke.

He held my hand and gazed at me. “I hope so and I love you too. And you know if it doesn’t work out then I’ll marry you. Wouldn’t that be awesome.” He said and then laughed.

“You wish.” I replied knowing that I had to let go. “Come on we need to go or else the groom will have dark circles and then she’ll see how ugly you are and run away. ” I said getting up.

He got up and when I was about to turn he pulled me in for a hug ” I swear I would die without you.” “Me too” I said and for the last time I held him to my chest and then relieved all our memories. 

“I need to go.” I said pointing towards the other side of the lake.

“Okay bye see ya. Don’t be late.” He said and I walked away. I never looked back . 

Currently I am on my flight to LA. They might’ve gotten married by now. I smiled and closed my eyes. Yes I was heartbroken. I didn’t have the guts to see him get married. 

“Could you please shift, I need to get by.” He said. I looked up to find blue pools of ocean in front of me. I stared at the person who was now in front of me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. After all these years I saw his face. How can I forget him. He was the person who taught me everything in my life. He helped me in studies, doing homework, being confident and even dressing up. Although I was a little awkward at that point of time.

I turned my face towards him and he was there. He recognised me. He sat besides me and hugged me. Well it was a long time since we saw each other as he went abroad to study and then we lost contact.

Yes we talked the whole way to LA. We even decided to share an apartment as we basically knew everything about each other. I don’t know what it was, but it surely was a start of something new. Something that I longed for.