Infested world


I was 8 years old when I received this new toy from my driver uncle. Uncle is very well respected for his good behaviour. He used to be my favourite uncle as he takes me out for ice cream and chocolates. I love everything about uncle except when we take the elevator. After getting into elevator uncle lifts me up and touch my body, lips saying I am his favourite too. I like everything but I don’t like when he touches me. But uncle said that’s what people do when they like each other.

I was 12 years old when my parents asked my 21-year-old cousin to teach me maths. My cousin was everyone’s favourite as he gets good grades. When he teaches me, he touches me on my shoulders and stuff. My heart says something is wrong but my brain says at this age how do you know if it’s wrong or right?  My heart says I need to tell mom but my brain says mom would ask me how would I know that he isn’t behaving correctly. Brain says that mom would think that I know something that’s not decent enough to know at my age and I might be yelled.

I am 16 now, I love reading books and eating churros. I am a normal teenage girl who has a bunch of friends and love hanging out with them. I am invited to Shreya’s home for night out. I picked my favourite pyjamas excited to stay the night with Shreya. We had dinner and talked till 1 AM drifting to sleep gradually. In the middle of the night, I could feel someone’s hands on me. Before I could yell my mouth was closed and I was groped. I could feel someone’s breath getting harder beside me and I couldn’t do anything as my mouth and hands were pinned down. After some time, the person’s breathing got normal and he eventually released my mouth and hands. In the dark, when I try to see the person who abused me it surprised me to learn it was Shreya’s brother as he always treated me as his little sister.

The next morning when I sat at breakfast table Shreya’s brother came to me and asked: “Hi darling, have you slept well?”. He behaved as if nothing happened and breakfast was usual with pancakes and waffles. I came home and cuddled up on the bed in my room feeling that can ease my mind. But my skin feels itchy and somehow tears welled up in my eyes. I feel hatred towards myself, I got up walked to the mirror and started cutting off my hair. 

A week passed. Usually, when I feel depressed, I share it with Shreya, but now I don’t know what to do. Whatever might have happened at my younger age but now I thought I need to let my parents know what happened. I have been thinking of how to let my parents know what happened. My dad is my hero and I know he would never leave that bastard alone for what he has done to me.

While I am going through this, I haven’t realised that my friends have boycotted me. I haven’t received any messages lately and no one visited me at my place like they usually do. At school or at cafeteria, no one was sitting beside me. I was quite surprised to learn this as I am the victim in the present situation but I am being treated as guilty. I don’t know what happened or what my friends knew which caused them to behave like this.

Another week passed, I couldn’t take this anymore and confronted Anshu(my other best friend) asking what happened and why everyone was being weird around me. That’s when I got to know something which I wished I never knew in my life. Last week the night before I was molested, Anshu and Sanju visited my place for movie night. I and Anshu left Sanju at home as she was deeply immersed in the movie to grab a few snacks. That night, I wish I never left Sanju alone at my home(which I always thought as the safest place in the whole world), the person whom I considered as my hero for the entire life, the person who I thought as an anchor and a light for my life has scarred my friend’s life. Sanju was molested by my dad…

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