Eternal Love


I can barely open my eyes. I only see machines everywhere and i dont know what they are.I can’t recognize where i am.I wanted to scream to top of the notch but i was trying to stay calm. I can see a women standing right next to me.She was crying. I didn’t know why was she crying.
Avni,my baby.I was so worried. My baby has just opened the eyes.
I can see her eyes gleaming. She was looking really pale and finally i can see she was relieved. I don’t understand why was she worried so much?
I look at her. I ask her. Who are you?
She was completely shattered when i asked her that question. I can see her tears that were streaming down.
Avni,it’s me.I am your mother.
M O T H E R?I can hardly even tell that word.I look at her in complete confusion.I am still not able to process what is happening around me.After few minutes, I still cant recognize who is she?
Tears are flowing like ocean. That helplessness is making me feel appalled.
Who am I? What am I doing here? Who is that women who is calling herself as my mother? What is happening?
I can see a man wearing a white coat rushing towards me.He checked my eyes and he checked a machine which was near me.
How are you feeling now?
I told him that i don’t remember anyone and i don’t remember anything.
Relax.You will remember again.Dont worry about that.You need to take rest.
He left.
I can see mom very happy.She gave me soup and she was sleeping near me.
Its been a month and I still cant recognize people.I can barely read the words.
I looked at the moon wondering why is it shining admist darkness,
I looked at myself thinking who i am and like how was i,since I regained consciousness.
I checked my phone and I was going through my chats but I cannot remember anyone,
I can see how much I used to love everyone.
I can see how I used to laugh at silly jokes, I can see how much long messages I used to send them,
Will I be able to be the same me again?
Will they love me again the same way they used to,
The more I think,the more trap i fall into.
I can see myself floating in the spaceship,
I dont know where, but I am just floating impatient.I haven’t gone anywhere out since i got discharged from the hospital. Mom was forcing me to come outside for shopping with her.
Avni if you are not comming,then i am going alone.
No mom,i am just comming with you.Give me 5 minutes.I will just get ready so that we can go together.
The moment i stopped outside the gate, I saw a young guy who was tall, his eyes were so intense,i feel like there is a deep story that needs to be revealed.He was fresh faced and was extremely good looking. He was staring at me.I was wondering why he was staring at me?
I feel like he knows me.
Hell, I dont remember him.
Who is this guy?Do i know him?The way he is staring at me,i feel he knows me.Whenever i used to look at him, there was helplessness in his face.I feel he wants to talk to me.Mom went to buy something,i went to meet him.

The moment i went near him,he hugged me so tightly,like he was scared of loosing me.I felt very weird.
I missed you Avni. I was never so scared in my life.I thought I lost you.I cannot tell you how relieved i am to see you like this. I am never going to leave you alone. I love you Avni. I love you more than anyone else. I cannot imagine my life without you.
I was astonished. I didn’t know what to tell.
Was i in love with you? I dont remember anything.What is your name?
When you look at the stars,when you look up at the sky,when you look at the universe the one thing that always reminds you of me.I part of me is with you and your’s near me.I am not going to give up until you remember who i was.When we met the last time,you were holding my hands tight and you told me even if you are not going to love me,i will love you more and more till the last breath of my life.That moment i felt really lucky to have you.
He is holding my hands very tightly,he is looking into my eyes.I can see tears in his eyes.I am sure he loves me,like he does.
I will love you again and this i will love you more than you ever loved me.
This time when he hugged me,i can feel he doesn’t want me to go anywhere.Where were you Avni?
Nothing mom,i was about to come inside and you just came.Done with your shopping?
Yeah.Lets go home.There are lot of works to do.I need to cook for you,i need to do the laundry.
Relax mom.I’ll help you out and we can finish it together soon.
When i was leaving,I  was looking at him.He was still standing there.I waved at him.
He gave me a bright smile which was worth dying for.
I was at home. I cannot concentrate at any work.I was only thinking about us.How might i have loved him. What i used to call him.I was loving the feeling of love.I was really restless.I want to meet him again.I want to feel his presence again.There is something between us that makes me loose myself in him always. I can listen to some kind of noise near my window.He was jumping through the window.
What the hell are you doing here?What if mom will see?She is going to kill us.
This is not the first time i am jumping from your window and it isn’t the last one too.Until you are going to be mine everyday i am going to come meet you like this.
Follow me.
But where are you taking me? You know the way to the terrace?
I know everything.You please quiet and follow me.If your mom comes,i am going to tell her that i am your boyfriend and i am taking you with me.
No.You are not doing that please.
I am just kidding. Do whatever i tell you to do.
He took me up to the terrace. We both lay there in solitude.
He holds my hand, kisses my forehead and looks into my eyes.Just stay with me like this forever.
I am so comfortable with him that i like spending every moment with him,
Whenever he is with me i am always amused by his presence,he does some magic like he is a magician.
Everything in life starts making sense again,
I dont fear the world,
I dont fear this life,
I dont fear about anything,
I feel i would make ends meet when he is with me,
He makes me euphoric,
I am always lost in some happy place,
He makes me believe in everything i have never thought of,
Wait, am i allowed to love a person so much?
I love him,i love him like i have never loved anyone so deeply before,
I am always intimidated by his presence,
It makes me feel things have never felt before,
I will always choose him today and forever.
Though i don’t remember what i was. Whatever going on between us now is something incredibly magical.
He was proposing me.
Avni wake up.
Why did mom had to disturb me at the right time?That dream was beautiful.I wish it was real.
Come on Avni. Go get ready fast.we have an appointment with the doctor.
We left for the hospital.The doctor has checked my MRI scan and told my mom that i am doing better.I was improving, which was a great relief for my Mom.
Avni can you please wait outside, I want to have a word with Mrs.Uma.
I can see the tension in my mom’s face.I smiled and i left.
Avni has suffered sever brain damage. She had several clots which we tried to remove. I am really glad that she is improving but this can only make her survive for another 6-7 years and sometimes longer. It depends on the patient. My mom is devasted by the news.
We will try our best.Dont worry.
My mom came outside, I silently listened to their conversation. I am dying.But i dont want to die.
I went near my seat and i sat down.My mom came,she didn’t know she has the courage to tell me.She can’t and she won’t tell me.She gave a smile.
We left.
At home, mom was cooking for me.I can see mom sobbing.Its hard for me to see her like that.
Mom,why are you crying?
As soon as she saw me, she hugged me and she started crying more.
Mom i am fine. You don’t worry.Even if i am dying,its the best thing.How long would you want me to suffer? How long would you spend taking care of me.You are going crazy.
And i still have time.I am not going to leave you so soon.You need to prepare everything whatever i like everyday.
She was shocked. How do you know?
I just heard the conversation. I am sorry mom,i was interested on what secret doctor is going to share with you.I was laughing.
She was crying, crying harder.I will do anything to save my daughter.
Relax mom. Dont take it so seriously. Though you dont have an MBBS degree,i feel you’ll get one now.
I see her laughing.
I go back to my room. I know i was smiling but inside i was scared. I dont feel like dying.I am scared of dying.
I am unable to sleep. Thinking about death is worst thing to do.I cried after the whole incident today.
Hey Avni.
When did you come?
Just now.
I cant remember anything. I dont think i have loved you.how can i love you?There is nothing in you so interesting that i was ever in love with you.I hate you so much.Your mere presence itself suffocates me.I can never love you Advik.
Did you just tell Advik?
Which means you remembered a part of us.
No.I just enquired about you and then they told me your name.
I love you avni and i will forever.Please trust me.You are my everything.
But i hate you Advik and if you want me to be happy,don’t ever try to meet me.
I can see.He is broken.He didn’t even tell a word.he just left.
I couldn’t take it.This is all strong i can be in life.I cannot help but crying.I love him more than anything else.When tomorrow something happens to me, life will be more painful than what it is now.In this way at least he will be hurt for few days, but i know he will find someone. Sometimes love is not in holding on, its letting go.

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