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Confused

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Lost in my thoughts, I was sitting on my bed, listening to my favorite songs whilst looking out of
the window, observing the nature, seeing group of birds going back to their home, sun ready to
set to rise again for the next day.
It’s strange how sometimes we can find peace in every simple thing, I just wanted to get lost in
that peace forever and not to go back to reality ever. But we can’t do that, we have to face the
reality. We can only gather the energy from this peace to face the reality again.
“Sehi, what are you doing? I was calling you for some time now,” my mother’s voice brought
me back to the reality.
“Oh! I’m sorry Mom. I didn’t hear your voice, I was listening to the music with my headphones
on,” I replied to her while turning the music off and getting up from my bed.
“You and your headphones. Sometimes I feel like you only use your headphones to ignore me,”
well, I can’t deny that. Sometimes I do use the headphones just to ignore few things around
me.
“Why were you calling me mom? Do you need any help!” I changed the topic, I was not in the
mood of getting into an argument which can bring my all past mistakes once again in present.
“Yes. I need you to go to the market and bring your father’s medicines. He again forgot to
purchase his medicines on time,” that’s one of the reason that I’m so lost and confused these
days.
Actually I received an appointment letter for the job that I applied for, which requires me to
move to the other city. But now I’m confused whether to go or not. I’m the only child of my
parents, and as they are getting old they are becoming more and more dependent on me, I
don’t want to leave them alone here on their own. But I also want to accept the job and
experience the independent life.
I’m so confused that I don’t even know what to do or what not to do.
I got out of home, purchased the medicine and returned back to the home pretty quickly as the
medicine shop is not that far away from where I live.
“Here is the medicine Mumma. Where is dad? Let me give these medicines to him or he will
again forget to take them,” I asked mom as I entered the kitchen, she was busy preparing the
dinner.
“He is at terrace, he said he wanted some fresh air,” mom replied.
I made my way towards the terrace. Dad was sitting there on one of the chair and seemed like
he was thinking about something very deeply. I walked towards him, placed the medicines
pouch on his lap and sat beside him on the other chair.

“What are you thinking dad, you seem so lost.”
“Nothing Sweetie. I was just thinking how fast time passes,” I was amused by his reply.
I wondered, why he is thinking about this suddenly!?
“Yes, that’s right dad. But why are you thinking about this,” I asked with a curiosity in my voice.
“Why didn’t you told us that you got the job, Sehi?” I looked at him with shock clearly visible on
my face.
“Dad, how do you…”
“I saw the appointment letter last night when I came into your room to talk about something
but you were already asleep.” Oh, I forgot to place that letter in the drawer last night!
“I’m confused dad. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to leave you and mom alone here,” I
admitted.
“We’ll be okay Sehi, you don’t need to think so much about us. I’m not sure about your mom
but I’m still fit and fine as before,” I started laughing after hearing this. No matter what, he
always knows how to bring the smile on my face.
‘Yeah! That’s right. He is fit and fine, that’s why he is taking these medicines,’ I didn’t say that to
him. Just me and my inner voice were talking as always.
“But dad….” I started.
“No buts sweetie, just go and enjoy your life a bit. See new places, meet new people, make new
friends, experience all these little things you wish to experience. This time is not going to come
once again.” Yes, I do want to do all of that but a part of me was still confused.
“You are still confused, right!!” he asked, observing me.
I just nodded in return.
“Ok, then tell me; What was the first thing that came into your mind after knowing that you
were selected?”
“I was more than happy, I thought that now I can finally live the life the way I always wanted to
live once.”
“See, if this is the first thing that came into your mind then don’t you think it is the thing that
you want to do! Other things are only constraints darling. Just go, enjoy your life a little and you
can always just come back after a while,” he said.
I smiled at him. A smile that reach my eyes. A genuine smile.
“By the way dad, you were saying that mom is not fit and fine as before.” I showed him my
most evil smile.

“Oh no! you are not going to do that. Besides I didn’t say that directly, probably in an indirect
way though,” his face was full of fear.
“Oh yes dad. I’m going to tell mom that you called her old.” I said to him while getting up from
the chair.
“No Sehi, you know she is going to eat me alive if you did that”
I just laughed and shrugged, and started walking downstairs with my dad voice booming with
warnings behind me.

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