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Blue Moon

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People never believed me. In all these years being held captive in this asylum, no one…not even a fellow madman believed my story. As the years passed, even I, sometimes doubted my experiences, the validity of my own claims and that made me laugh, hysterically. I laughed so hard that I fell on the ground and yet continued to laugh more and more, as if my laughter was expressing my situation, my pain rather than my words.. However, it further strengthened their belief that I was a shit crazy, unstable patient…rather a shit crazy, unstable killer…

Before being confined to this purgatory, I was a phytologist, studying and researching about the plants and dense forests in the Amazon. Every year, hundreds of new species are discovered in the Amazon. For researchers like me, it’s like a treasure trove ,waiting to be discovered. Apart from new discoveries, Amazon is also the home to some of the rarest species of plants in the world like Rafflesia, the largest flower in the world, bromeliads, orchids etc. So, when I received the mail inviting me to a week long expedition in the Amazon rainforest, I was ecstatic.

I was part of a team of 7 researchers, travelling to the Amazon to officially conduct a study about the various types of trees and plants found there, to inspect the current state of endangered and nearly extinct arboretum and to, if possible, discover, entirely new species, never seen before, anywhere else in the world. This was our objective, on paper. But deep inside, we all knew what our true purpose was – to find the ‘Blue Moon’.

There has been hardly 3 sightings of that flower throughout history. Nobody knows for sure what that flower truly is – some say it’s a rare blue orchid, others say it’s a florescent blue rose. This flower is supposed to be used by a small tribe living in the Amazon, known as Beatrek tribe. What’s strange about this tribe and what makes them different from the other tribes living there is that they use this flower to worship a Demon, known as Beren Waha, which roughly translates to ‘ Monster King’.. They believe that, these flowers are actually the scattered body parts of Beren Waha himself and so, once in a year, they gather all the flowers they can find and summon him..

Whatever they pray and wish from him during this ritual is apparently fulfilled but they have to pay a hefty price for their desires; at the end of this ritual, every year, one member of the tribe goes missing, irrespective of gender, age or devotion – a sacrifice in exchange of luxury. It’s believed that the Beatrek tribe was initially a big tribe, ranging in thousands of members but now is left with a few hundreds. Most of this information was gathered from the various tribes living in the Rainforest, since the Beatrek tribe is extremely hard to locate, so it’s not possible to know whether these are rumours or facts.

You might ask, why such an interest in a flower that might just be a high profile myth like Bigfoot? Well, it all started when Felix Bridges, a famous explorer and the first person to ever see the Blue Moon with his own eyes, returned from his exploration and published his findings, that shook the world. He stated in his findings that while on his yearly expedition to the Amazon, he, while searching for a rare orchid, stumbled upon a hidden gateway covered with leaves, plants and bushes.

Entering through the gateway and exiting on the other side, he saw a small settlement, with houses made of hay; tribal people jumping around, walking, shouting and a large number of them gathered around a pile of something… Something blue and florescent. He couldn’t see clearly from where he was standing, but it looked like flowers. The tribal people had blue face paint, which was symbolic of the Beatrek tribe.

Observing further, he witnessed something amazing.. all the tribal people gathered around the pile suddenly went on their knees and started praying as it seemed, with their hands outstretched forward. Then, the pile of flowers started glowing, radiating blue light which was still piercing, despite how far he was standing..

After a minute or so, the glow extinguished and the tribal people scattered the flowers and brought out of it, a wild boar.. Then they again collected those things into a pile and started praying.. Minutes later, it again started glowing, and after the glow extinguished, the tribal people again scattered the pile and brought out this time, stacks of what seemed like fur coats… This happened again and again and again… And everytime, something new and more expensive was brought out of the pile.. Bronze pots, Silver utensils, Gold jewellery.

He couldn’t believe his eyes.. All of his logical thinking and scientific rationality were being thrown out of the window.. All of this was going on when suddenly something growled, from inside the pile and everybody stopped, whatever they were doing.. All the knelt down, praying members stood up and the entire tribe gathered around the pile in concentric circles…

Then one by one, every member started standing in front of the pile and moving away after some time, as if awaiting some sort of selection.. One after another, the members stood in front of that pile, waited for a minute and moved away… After it continued for about ten minutes or so, he stopped expecting anything more and deemed it as just another ritual when all of a sudden, the pile started glowing again as a young boy of about 10 years or so, stood in front of it.. The boy’s parents started crying and probably protesting almost immediately after the ‘selection’, but to no use… The other tribe members refused to acknowledge their cries and pleas and picked up the boy by his arms and legs and dropped him inside the glowing pile.

The pile then became unstable and started to tremble, shiver and reverberate, and finally exploded, launching the flowers far off into the distance, (with one flower even hitting him, although he was standing so far away from the pile), and left behind nothing, not even a single trace of that boy. He was shocked, surprised, confused,perplexed with all that transpired but quickly forgot all of that when his focus shifted onto the flower.. it was unlike anything he had ever seen before..

The flower was round in shape, with soft,tiny petals and was giving out a tantalising, addictive and intoxicating smell.. but the most impressive yet unusual feature of the flower was it’s volatile radiance, no doubt.. sometimes it shone like a firefly and other times, it became dull like a washed up cloth…

Deeply immersed in the mysteries of the flower, he didn’t notice that he was spotted by the tribe members and they were shouting and running towards him with their poisoned spears…When he finally noticed, they were gaining in on him and were almost about to catch him, but somehow, he managed to dribble past them and safely get outside through the gateway, but in the rush and panic, dropped the flower there and was unable to take it with him.

Many people criticised and expressed doubts over the validity of his claims and experience, but people nonetheless started searching for the Beatrek tribe and the elusive, ‘Blue Moon’.

But sadly, none were successful in finding that gateway again.. Even Felix himself tried to find it again the next year but failed. As if the gateway decides who it wants to discover it… People have claimed to have witnessed the Blue Moon but couldn’t verify their claims. Some of the claimants died before giving any sort of proof, some went insane and some just vanished, to be never heard from again..

Those who went insane insisted that all they could smell throughout the day and night was it’s enrapturing fragrance, even though the flower was nowhere to be found. They retorted that from the moment they woke up in the morning till the time, they fell asleep, every moment was captured by that fragrance, to the point, that they desperately started searching for other fragrances, even smelling their own feces with joy, losing their mental stability with each day until they broke down completely.

Some of you might ask, why didn’t anything bad happen to Felix then? Well, it did… After returning from that life altering expedition, he lost his wife to Small Cell Lung Cancer. The next year, when he again went in its search, his daughter died in a road accident. After that, he sort of lost it. He began to travel to the Amazon 3-4 times a year in search of that gateway, desperate to find the answers to his questions, but didn’t find it again.

These 3-4 trips a year began to affect him financially and soon he became broke. With nothing left for him in this world anymore, he soon committed suicide by consuming a lot of sleeping pills, all at once. In his hand, there was a piece of paper which he held onto, tightly. In it was written a single line, ‘ I can smell it’..

If I would have known all of this beforehand, known how everything would turn out in the future, I would have never agreed to go on that search. I was a part of a team of 7 researchers, who were literally the best in the world. With the number of accolades they have won collectively more than twice my age, I was obviously a misfit, a mortal among Gods. But then again, I don’t think that I was chosen to be a part of this team primarily because of my achievements or qualifications..

I was chosen because I was one of the few people in the world who could speak, write and understand the language of the Beatrek tribe..
I learnt it by studying ancient scriptures and publishings of other researchers.. You might ask, why a sudden inclination towards learning a language of a mysterious tribe, which in all possibility, I might never have the opportunity to implement?

I really don’t know.. I felt an unexplainable attraction and connection towards the Beatrek tribe and the Blue Moon , ever since I came across Felix’s findings.. His description of the ritual, the tribal members and most importantly, the Blue Moon, captivated and enchanted me…

I became highly interested in learning about the tribe as much as I can and so I started scavenging through any piece of information that I could find… Books, texts, scriptures, research papers, internet.. I studied them all.. It’s not right for me to say this, but, I was probably the most knowledgeable person about the Beatrek tribe in the world… And look how that came back to bite me in the ass XD

Anyways, let’s go back to my expedition story. After the first 4 days of our expedition, all of us officially accomplished nothing. We were so invested in finding the Blue Moon that we didn’t even try to get our official objectives fulfilled. Judging from the looks on all those acclaimed faces, they were ready to give up, somehow get over with the remaining days of the expedition, head home and focus on their regular, structured and boring lives…

On the 5th day, I decided to look a bit farther away from our base, to try to find some clues or hints that would help us in our cause. So I chose a path which we haven’t yet explored during this expedition and started walking. I had a map, a compass, a flashlight and a satellite phone with me, so I was neither afraid of unknown darkness nor afraid of getting lost. After walking for about 30 minutes, I reached a very beautiful, scenic place – there was a large cave with a waterfall near its opening. It was so beautiful, that I forgot my original mission and started enjoying the clean, icy water, like a tourist..

All of this was short lived though, as the weather changed suddenly and bright, blue skies became gloomy, overcast and covered with dark thunderclouds, in almost an instant.. To save myself from getting drenched in the rain, I temporarily took shelter inside the cave. It was a huge cave and it looked a lot bigger from the inside than it looked from the outside.

It seemed as if this cave hasn’t had a visitor in some time, at least a year. I could tell from the dense spider webs, thick layers of fungi on its walls and the colony of bats that almost attacked me as they tried to fly outside when I flashed my light over them. Apart from giving me a heart attack-inducing shock, the cave was pretty basic and normal. Everything you expect from a cave, to be like and to look like, it was exactly that.

Except, it had a door on its inner wall. It was a broken down, wooden door, which was attached to the cave wall by rusty hinges. It looked as if it was gonna fall off any moment but somehow was kept in place by those overworked hinges.

To be honest, I didn’t want anything to do with it, the first time I saw it. But that door had an unexplainable pull over me or maybe it was my own curiosity that I couldn’t resist not opening that door and find out what was inside it. So I did just that, I opened the door and discovered that there was a small tunnel inside, just big enough to fit a regular sized man crawling on his knees.. I could see light at the other end of the tunnel, implying that the tunnel led to someplace where there was sunlight, which was strange considering that it was still raining heavily outside.

Curiosity is a double-edged sword. Many times it guides you in making great discoveries or important inventions but sometimes, it leads you down a path, which you regret for the rest of your life.

As you can guess by now, I let curiosity get the best of me and I went down on my knees, and started crawling through the tiny, claustrophobic space of that tunnel, just to see what was on the other side of that tunnel; whether it was sunlight or something else…

After crawling for about 5 mins, I reached the end of the tunnel and got out. It was so bright that I had to cover my eyes with my hand as I escaped out of the tunnel and stood upright. Gradually, I started opening my eyes, adjusting to the sudden change of illumination. The first thing that I noticed were the bright, blue skies and the hot, piercing sunlight. The place looked as if it had not gotten even a single drop of rain for quite sometime.

Observing the surroundings, I noticed that it was a small establishment, with houses made up of hay. People, most certainly tribal people, as I can tell by looking at their attire, were going on with their daily lives it seemed. Kids were playing on the roads, women were sweeping in front of their houses, men were walking with….

And then it hit me… Slightly crouched style of walking, spears with poison coated tips, blue face paint.. all of this was too familiar for me to overlook.. this was indeed the Beatrek tribe.
I was so shocked, so dumbfounded, so fascinated that I became rigid and just stood there, ogling at the tribal people.

I guess this was the primary reason why I was noticed so quickly by them and they started to scream wildly and run towards me, like rabid animals, ready to dispatch their spears at any moment. I was already stiff from amazement, now watching how things unfolded made me petrified and I became more stiff and was kept fixed at my place by invisible roots. As the tribal people were nearing in on me and were almost about to catch me, my primal instincts kicked it and I broke free from the invisible strings that bound me and tried to run. But unlike my expectations, I tripped and fell on the ground, losing all of my energy to even stand up and try again.

Seeing the tribal men just seconds away from catching me and skewering me with their spears, I forcefully closed my eyes with my hands and as a last ditch effort, spoke to them in their own language, saying, ‘ I….I am a..a researcher studying and researching about the Beatrek tribe. I just want to know about Beren Waha and that mystical flower that we call by the name, Blue Moon. Please don’t kill me. If you want me to leave, I’ll leave right away and I’ll never speak about this incident with anyone else. Please don’t kill me.’

I didn’t expect them to trust or believe me, so I sat there, my hands still closing my eyes tightly, waiting to meet my unfortunate end. Minutes passed……, but nothing happened. Nobody made a sound so, there was an uncomfortable silence in the atmosphere, which was unbearable and added to my already increasing anxiety. I was still scared to death, but I still wanted to see, why did they suddenly stop?
Since it’s apparent that they want to kill me off, why aren’t they doing it already? Did they somehow, believe what I said?

To get the answers of all these questions that were floating in my head, I made up my mind to slowly but steadily, open my eyes, to see what was really going on.

Opening my eyes, I saw a tall, well built tribal man standing in front of me, with his hand outstretched in my direction, signalling me to take his hand and stand up, a warm, gentle and calm smile on his face. I was baffled with the sudden change of circumstances, and was really unsure of what was the right thing to do, but I didn’t want to offend these people, so I took that tribal man’s hand and pulled myself up to a vertical position.

What followed next, confused me even more… The Beatrek tribe members started treating me as a guest. Two or three members would accompany me everywhere I went (except the washroom of course, just to clear any unholy thoughts that might arise in the minds of the reader) and would show me the different parts of their establishment.. everyone would behave in such a friendly, jovial and casual manner that I would start to doubt myself as to what I did to deserve such great hospitality. At lunch, I noticed that the members all ate at the same time, at the same place – a humongous, wooden table, that could easily accommodate 300+ people at once, situated at one end of the establishment. But, for me, the most shocking thing was the food. For a tribe that was disconnected completely from the outside world, I didn’t expect much to be honest… Boy, was I wrong…

A perfectly cooked, medium rare beef steak, smoked pork roast, lime squeezed vegetable salad, the freshest orange juice I have ever had and many more things that I can’t properly describe but all of which tasted delicious… If I was served all of these dishes in a 5 star restaurant, I would be completely satisfied and consider my money well spent.

After lunch, I was taken to a place named, ‘ Ani Melasu Plau’ literally meaning ‘ The Resting Place’. It was a big, solid house where I was welcomed in by the Tribal Chief, who was the same guy who offered the hand to pick me up earlier.

Again, I was treated with extreme levels of hospitality there. Everyone was so friendly, so welcoming that I started to get comfortable and courageous. After talking with the Tribal Chief for some time and getting to know him a bit better, I gathered all of my courage and hesitantly asked him, ‘I have many questions about Beren Waha and the Blue Moon that I need the answers to. Will you answer them for me?’ I half expected him to explode in a fit of anger and kill me then and there, but, he remained composed and with a smile on his face answered, ‘ Yes, Of course.’

We went outside and looked for a place where we could talk in solitude. We headed towards an unoccupied hut, that was near the ‘Ani Melasu Plau’. It was to be used as a storage unit, to keep the excess food or something, but was rarely utilized. We sat in its outer verandah and made ourselves as comfortable as possible. With everything in place, we started the interview of sorts ( Note: this interview was originally conducted in the language of the Beatrek tribe. For the convenience of the reader, I have myself translated this interview to English) –

Me : Firstly, can you tell me about the Beatrek tribe. Like it’s history, the reason for its obscurity..

Chief : The Beatrek tribe was once one of the largest tribes in the Amazon. We had more than 5000 members and were very prosperous and self dependent. Despite not having any form of luxury, we were nonetheless happy with our lives, with all the tribe members living together and always at the beck and call for one another. But then, things started to turn ugly. A mysterious illness ravaged through our tribe where the people started dying in the middle of their sleep. Our 5000+ strong family was reduced to less than a thousand within a couple of years. We were all afraid of our existence being wiped out. But then, He came to save us. Our Lord, Our Saviour!

Me: By He, you mean the Demon that you worship, Beren Waha?

Chief: Yes. When we were all at our most vulnerable, He came to our rescue. When God himself was ignoring our plight, He offered us his hand and pulled us from the depths of Hell. He maybe a Demon , but to all of us, He is a God. He maybe vile and evil, but everything he does, all of his actions are for the sake of our well being.. He thinks of us as His children and you know, to what depths a parent can go to ensure the comfort and prosperity of their children and to secure their futures.

Me: You are yourself admitting that Beren Waha is a Demon that is vile and evil and can go to any lengths to accomplish his plans and objectives.

Chief: Yes.

Me: Then, knowing all of this beforehand, why do all you worship such a malicious being? He may be using all of you to fulfill his ulterior motives. After all, his name literally means ‘Monster King’.

Chief suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. Not that ‘ it’s a hilarious joke ‘ kinda laughter. No… his laughter was more unhinged, more crazy, much more maniacal, than a normal laugh. After a minute or so of such unbridled cacophony, the Chief finally composed himself, and continued –

Chief: I am extremely sorry for that. I just couldn’t control it. It’s extremely amusing to think that the rumour has spread to such far lands and in such a prominent manner..

Me: Rumour?

Chief: Yes. The rumour that Beren Waha means Monster King. We ourselves started this rumour, along with many others, to help our Lord with his plan, and it gives me great delight to see how everything is finally falling into place.

Me: Plan? What plan?

Chief: Before answering your question, let me ask you a question.

Me: Ok. Sure.

Chief: What do you think is the main purpose, the aim of an evil entity?

Me: Uhhhh…. Conquering the world, defeating and corrupting anything and everything good…

Chief: Yes, they are also important. But the most important thing for an evil entity is to spread evil. Make people lose faith in Good, Make people lose faith in God. Make people desperate enough, vulnerable enough to seek help from the dark side.
When they start treating and worshipping an evil entity like a God, like a Messiah, that’s when you know, that Evil has won.

Chief kept quiet for sometime after this. I kept contemplating in my mind whether to ask, ‘ Isn’t that the same as to what Beren Waha did with you guys? He made all of you vulnerable, desperate, afraid and forced you all to shift to the dark side’. But after witnessing that episode of concealed madness slowly coming to the surface, I became much less comfortable and confident than I was at the start of the interview. So, I decided against poking the bear and carried on with the interview.

Me: Now that i have answered your question, I expect you to answer mine. What’s the plan?

Chief: Right after saving us from extinction, from being thrown into the depths of obscurity, our Lord concocted this plan. It started with us spreading the rumours about Beren Waha and it culminates with you, the final piece of the puzzle.
He always wanted the best for us. He wanted us to take our rightful position in the society, the same society that has forgotten us long back.
Now, we will. We will take back what’s rightfully ours. Your so called society will perish and nothing can stop it, at least not anymore..

You keep asking, ‘What’s the plan?’ A better question is, ‘What’s part of the plan?’ The answer is ‘Everything’. Everything’s part of the plan. Our Lord Beren Waha planned everything.

Right from the moment that pesky, white foreigner came out of the gateway and stood on our grounds, we knew that our plan was in action. That poor fellow was so amazed, so mesmerized with what he was witnessing with his own eyes – the ‘never-seen-before, other worldly’ ritual of the Beatrek tribe. Never ever did it cross his mind that maybe, whatever he was seeing was being shown to him.

Do you think that he could have escaped by his own skills and abilities? We have men among us who can run as fast as a hungry tiger. We have poisoned spears, and men, who can throw them with their eyes closed and still they will hit their targets and skewer them, kill them, slowly and painfully..

And he ran like a scared little girl, so he had no chance of surviving.
He escaped cause we wanted him to escape. We wanted him to tell the world about his experience – about the unbelievable ritual and that fascinating, mysterious and elusive flower, that you people call, the Blue Moon.

The Chief stopped for some time and stood up. One of the members brought him a bowl, containing something that was emitting a lot of smoke. The Chief took that bowl from his hands and that man went back to the ‘Ani Melasu Plau’.. The Chief, with the bowl in his hands, sat back at his original place and continued.

From that foreigner publishing his story to people becoming intrigued and searching for the Blue Moon to you coming to Amazon, finding the gateway, coming to the land of the Beatrek tribe, talking to me and having this interview at present, all of this was planned to perfection by our Lord Beren Waha.. Beren Waha doesn’t mean ‘Monster King’ researcher.. it means, ‘the one who travels through smell’… Our Lord resides in those flowers, particularly in the fragrance of those flowers… Whenever someone smells them, our Lord enters their bodies and purifies their minds..

The harder they try to resist the purification, the stronger they can smell, which leads to them either finally joining us in the Good side or incapable of joining any side.

Me: Why……why are you telling me all of this?

Chief: Cause you, my boy, are the final piece of this puzzle. You are the one who will win it for us.
And if you tell whatever I told you to others, no one, will believe you.. They’ll think you are insane.. You’ll be ridiculed by the same people you are trying to save..
Isn’t that funny? They’ll term you a madman for trying to be their saviour…

That’s destiny.. your destiny.. and it’s time for you to fulfill it…
You have to play your part, my boy. You have to perform your role in this complex, twisted game…
No matter how hard you try, you cannot escape it anymore… Everything will happen in the same way, as our Lord predicted. And you cannot do anything to change it, anymore.. Everything will end.. With You..

And then the Chief, out of nowhere, blew that smoke, coming from that bowl, onto my face. The smoke was so powerful, so dense, so intoxicating, that after coughing, panting and trying to catch my breath for a few minutes, I got knocked out, cold…

When I regained my senses, I hurriedly sat upright. Everything that happened kept playing in my head like a broken cassette, making me more and more anxious and scared by the minute.. I looked around in horror, just to see that I was still in the cave,where I took shelter to protect myself from the rain, where I found that gateway to hell…

I looked outside. It was evening now and the rain has finally stopped. I looked towards the inner wall. There was no such door there.. I breathed a sigh of relief. All of that was just a dream apparently.. Phew…

And then, as I kept my hand on the ground, all of my illusions were broken down simultaneously..
For my hand landed on something soft, delicate, fragile… I knew in my head what it was… And I pleadingly wanted it to be something else.. I picked it up and brought it up near my field of vision.. Indeed, it was the Blue Moon…

That iconic turquoise-blue colour, those soft and delicate petals, that characteristic volatile radiance, that sweet, enticing fragra… Suddenly, it hit me… I threw that flower away, covered my mouth and nose, and frantically stood up from where I was sitting.. that’s when I realized exactly where and upon what I was sleeping… A pile of Blue Moons.. My mind went completely blank at that moment and I tried to run away, tried to escape from the clutches of this monster… I remember running out of the cave, and that’s when everything went black… I blacked out…

From that point onwards, for a long time, all I could remember were flashes.. as if someone is taking a picture in a pitch-black room with his flash switched on..
The duration for which the flash illuminated the room is the exact duration for which I could recall exactly what happened during the period of my fluctuating consciousness..

When my consciousness finally became stable, the first things that I could register were screams. A few women were screaming in front of me, petrified and scared to death.. it took me some moments to figure out the cause for such screams.. I had a blood soaked knife in my hand and a body beside me…

I was extremely shocked, surprised and terrified of this situation but I was so weak, so tired that I couldn’t even get a sound out of my mouth…

The police arrived shortly, and they dragged me to the police station. There, I spent two nights before being presented before a Judge. I told them everything, about Beren Waha, the Blue Moon, how everything was a conspiracy for global domination…

They laughed at me.. the Judge commented on my mental stability and the opposition lawyer claimed that I have lost it… This gave my defense lawyer a chance to claim the Insanity plea.. Although its pretty rare nowadays for the Insanity plea to be accepted, but the Judge made an exception for me and ruled in my favour… rather in favour of the Insanity plea…

I was sentenced to be immediately shifted to a psychiatric institution, where I would have to stay for an indeterminate period of time, as long as it takes for me to recover my mental strength and stability and become mentally healthy and fit, as per their standards…

Upon reaching the psychiatric institution, I gradually got to know two things, from the news broadcasted through the TV, which was kept locked in a transparent container in the cafeteria and played only one channel..

Firstly, I apparently guided my fellow researchers to the cave where the pile of Blue Moons were located. This led to the biggest and most important discovery of recent times and I was praised, lauded and held in high honour for my role and contribution in it..

Secondly, at the success party of the expedition, I apparently became violent all of a sudden, stole a knife from the buffet and ruthlessly attacked a fellow researcher, stabbing him multiple times, which led to his death..

At that time, when i first saw this, I was shell shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and I started to scream and shout, telling everyone not to believe any of this as this was all part of a bigger plan, a conspiracy.. This just lead to me being sedated and put to sleep, as they usually treat violent patents there…

One year, two years, three years passed… I continued to tell my story to any and every person that I could find, hoping that at least someone will believe me, be it a fellow madman, a nurse, a doctor or even a watchman… Nobody did.. they didn’t say it to my face but I could tell from their replies, as it was the same dialogue everytime, irrespective of the person it came from, ‘Everything will be alright soon. Don’t worry’..
Neither did anything became alright, nor did my indeterminate period ever end..

Which brings me to the present day. All these years, a few questions always used to haunt me throughout day and night. ‘Why me?’ , ‘How did I manage to show them the way to the cave and kill a colleague when I was barely conscious?’

As time passed and my head became clearer, I began to understand everything… A small piece everyday.. Piece by piece, it took me almost a year to finish the entire puzzle.. and when I put the final piece in its place, I shouted ‘Eureka’ at the top of my voice and broke into a mixture of laughter and cries.. Laughing at the sheer simplicity of those answers…. Crying at the my utter helplessness to change anything anymore…

To answer the first question, I must say that I was asking the wrong question, all this time. The question was never ‘Why me?’. The question was always, ‘Why not me?’ I was never an indispensable part of this game. I was a pawn, a lucky pawn randomly chosen among an ocean of other pawns. I was manipulated and brainwashed by them every step of the way to do exactly what they wanted and planned for me to do. But that doesn’t mean, that I was someone special without whom this plan wouldn’t have succeeded… No… If you would replace me with any other person, then also this plan would have carried on in the exact same manner, like it did. I was just an unlucky winner of an evil lottery..

The answer to the second question was much easier to figure out. It was indeed that smoke that the Chief blew on my face.. I guess it contained some hallucinogenic drug that knocked me out but triggered my subconscious.. Maybe between the time I was knocked out from that smoke till I was moved back inside the cave, the Chief gave my subconscious orders, which it fulfilled perfectly, not receiving any sort of resistance from neither my conscience nor my rational and logical thinking.
I know these are all just speculations. Maybe reality is much different, much more sinister than what I presume, but this is the best explanation that I can come up with…

As I am writing this journal now, I am smiling; smiling to acknowledge the sheer brilliance of the plan that they conceived, rather the plan that Beren Waha conceived. Don’t get me wrong.. I condemn whatever malicious intentions they have.
There is nobody in this world who wants them to fail more than I do. But apart from being pure evil, the plan was also so meticulous, so intricate, so perfect, that you can’t help but wonder in awe and appreciate, the level of evil ingeniousness that it required to bring it all together, considering the amount of forecasting, manipulation, brainwashing, patience and scheming that was involved.

If anyone finds this journal and believes that whatever I said is true rather than some confused, delusional ramblings of a sick, old man, then I wanna say to him/her/them that I am sorry. I am sorry for my involuntary contribution in the probable destruction of the world. I know and I hope that you people will believe that I didn’t do what I did intentionally, but whatever it may be, I can’t shrug off the fact that I indeed played a crucial role in helping Evil win.. This realization, this guilt has been eating me from inside for many years.. I was not able to eat properly, sleep properly, think properly cause of this thought, tormenting me, burning me mercilessly everyday..

When I gradually started to see the bigger picture, that’s when I decided to wait until I have uncovered all the answers. I am happy to have accomplished my mission, after so many years of torture and suffering. Now, I can finally end it all and have peace.

To end my journal, I again wanna apologize for my naivete,
my stupid sense of pride for knowing a language that only a few people know and my absolutely incorrect belief that Demons, Monsters, Evil entities etc. are fictional; they do not exist in the real world.. They do…

I’ll hope and pray that in this journey, like in all others, good triumphs over evil…. And if it doesn’t, then, I am extremely sorry for leaving you all behind to suffer in this misery…
Good bye and Good luck…





NEWS REPORT: Tony Brandon, researcher and one of the founders of the Blue Moon has committed suicide today. He was found in the bathroom with his throat slashed and a piece of bloodied glass in his hand. He was kept at a psychiatric institution after he brutally murdered one of his colleagues, at a party celebrating their success, and had the Insanity plea accepted after being presented before a Judge.

In a related news, Blue Moon, one of the most sought after flowers in the world, rumoured to be the sweetest smelling flower, which was discovered in large quantities 5 years back and was purchased in majority by a French Multinational Company back then, is now going to be released as a perfume.

Aptly named Parfum Blue Moon, it was supposed to be released in the same year as it was discovered, but was delayed after the production was completed, due to unforeseen circumstances such as deaths, people going insane etc.

Overcoming all the hurdles, Parfum Blue Moon is expected to released in the coming week and will be shipped globally. Set at a reasonable price for a high profile French perfume at $30 a bottle, this perfume already has a high demand with the official website registering 25000+ pre-orders in the two days since the company started to take orders on its official website. Here’s hoping we all get to finally experience the rich, captivating and intoxicating fragrance of the ever so elusive, Blue Moon…



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