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AMIDST ALL

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“Do you still miss him?”, they asked. “Well ofcourse not”, I answered. And that was it. No one
further cared if she is actually overwhelmed by his thought. Because no one did care from the
very beginning. That is something she could see by now. That is where she learned how to be
mendacious. That is where she picked up the art of deceitfulness. But who was she to please
anybody? She lived life fearing her past would repeat. She lived, only to find love, in its truest
and purest form. But what did she get? Everytime she opened her heart, it was to the wrong
people. Love here is not the Prince charming only that she waited for. Love could come in any
form, anything would be divine for her. “It’s ok it happens” they kept telling her then leaving her
and breaking her. Was she imbibed in this circle? Or was it meant to occasionally feast upon her
fears? She questioned life. She questioned him but how could he answer her? He wasn’t there
to wipe her tears. So she went on to wipe others tears, only wanting love in return and receiving
abhorrence in return,I’ve she was some abomination to the world. And again there was not
a single person she could confide in. Who was to be blamed? She. It was she who was to be
blamed. What’s the use of being an angel when demons are waiting for her. Waiting for her to
give up. Waiting for her to fade into darkness. Waiting for her to give up that angelic smile and
go for that menacing one. Someone who could penetrate into the emotions of others and leave
that deep like people ever did with her. The demons can assure us happiness but at the cost of
others’ misery. Why? Is it so difficult for the angels and the demons to mix? “Why can’t they just
settle this together?”, she wondered. She asked herself the basic question any teenager would
ask themselves these days – “Is something wrong with me”? If only someone, just someone
could come and relieve her saying “No dear “. It was that simple. But nobody could care less
whether she is hurt or not who cares? Everybody is hurt these days. The fear of people leaving
her like it happened with her in her past is the roots of her fear. “How can you he so scared of
something that happened once in your life, you can’t connect all your problems to that horrible
night this is unacceptable, you need to stronger “, that said once again, she was expected to
wipe off her own tears. The society said “you are not the only one who is hurt, there are many
like you ” but how was that supposed to help her? Does mutual pain offer pain killers? In that
case pain would have never existed, considering all the sorrow of the world.
She has committed many sins, some known, some unknown but she is still that naive little girl
who was unbeknown that night, unbeknown to the horror she would have to move with all her
life. The last time she saw her father, walk away that door, never to return and the sheer hatred
that followed her forever. Amidst all, she carried this in her forever.

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