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A Lost Hope

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This is a story about a girl named Penny. She is a silent, self-reliant person, who is actually least bothered about her surroundings and people around her. She used to live in her own world and is only dependent on her work and belongings. During her first year of graduation, she was much focused on her studies and kept contact with only those she had need of.

Gradually, time passed by, and she even became the head for an NGO of her college. Her responsibilities grew up and she was trying hard to keep up with her studies as well as the events to be conducted by her NGO. At the same time, she came across a boy named Rad. Rad is a kind, ground to earth, active person. He always spreads selfless love and moreover, he keeps himself in the shoes of his friends when he comes to know that they are facing some issue and doesn’t leave any problem un-solved. Penny and Rad had many classes together and thereby they came to know each other well. Rad actually had a very huge friend circle and he used to always keep himself busy in some or the other stuff. Nonetheless, he never skipped speaking with his friends and try sorting things out in case they are into something bad. In the same way, when he came to know that this girl was trying her best to manage her course work and the NGO’s duty, he never stepped back in helping her. There how, Penny gradually knew how to handle the situations and stood strong in any situation she is into. Simultaneously, she also felt Rad gave her some special attention and she liked it. They both then slowly spoke about various random stuff, which kept on post midnight and she gradually developed feelings towards him.

But, all this went un-noticed by Rad. He never knew how Penny felt for him. Later as time passed by, Rad started speaking with Ashley, roommate of Penny, as she was into some other trouble at that time. Now, so as to solve Ashley’s issue, Rad started moving close with her and he didn’t have time to speak much with Penny. This was the moment when Penny realized that Rad treats every person the same way and this was when she felt so dis-heartened. She never shared how she felt about him to anyone, not even her roommate. She kept everything to herself.

One day, Ashley saw Penny sitting at one corner of the room and repenting on what happened with her. Ashley tried asking her, what happened and what was she so worried about. But never did Penny try to share her thoughts with anyone. She was so disturbed from within. Ashley then tried telling the same to Rad. But Rad thought Penny was now mature enough to handle her issues. Nevertheless, Rad tried noticing Penny without her knowledge and one fine day he tried to speak with Penny and know what’s happening with her. He kept on asking until Penny responded. Penny couldn’t stop herself from confessing what she felt for Rad and shed tears after telling him every small deed which disturbed her.

After listening to Penny, Rad was dumb struck as on no account did anyone confessed their love to him before. It made him feel very guilty for what had happened. Rad never had an

intention to see Penny as his girlfriend. He only wanted to bring things to normal as they were, before Penny felt something for him. The only thing he has done to solve this, was speaking with her as they spoke earlier, but to a limit.

But, it was never the same what Penny was undergoing. She still couldn’t come out of the phase of loving him. Whenever he starts speaking with her, it would blossom hope in her towards him loving her. But that never happened. He always wanted to see her as a friend and wanted her to feel the same way. This brought discouragement between the two and they would end up fighting on small and silly incidents. One such incident was, when once Penny, Rad and few others went for a trip after their college farewell party. Rad wanted to make this trip the most memorable one. For that aspect, apart from supporting his friends as and when needed, he tried to give Penny the special attention she wished for earlier. He gave all of him even when penny didn’t ask for it. But Penny didn’t know why was Rad doing all this and she felt as if he was caring too much. At the end of the trip, when everyone were busy packing to return back, Penny asked Rad to come out for a walk. Rad swiftly walked towards her and they moved out. After few casual conversations;

Penny: Rad, I want to ask you something.

Rad: Yes, Tell me!

Penny: I don’t know why, but I felt awkward about the way you behaved in this trip. Rad: I didn’t get you. What is it that you felt awkward about?

Penny: I felt as if you were over-caring me.

Rad: What!!!

Penny: Yes, I felt that you were not yourself! You were behaving like a completely different person. It was as if you wanted to show me how much you care for me and how much I mean to you.

Rad: But…I was not acting…

Penny: I know you were not acting. But the way you were behaving was so absurd. I know you don’t want to consider me as your girlfriend neither do you love me, then why do you want to express as if I mean so much to you.

Rad: (Slows down a bit, looks down and swallows his sorrow)

Penny: Rad, honestly tell if you really have something inside you. Do you have feelings for me? Rad: (Doesn’t speak a word and continues to walk in parallel with Penny)

Penny: Please tell me if you really have to admit anything to me. Because, the way you usually speak and the way you showed yourself during this trip was totally different and I didn’t like it. Even our friends, Ashley, Patrick and George were talking about your actions towards me. So, tell me if you have something to tell me.

Rad: (Slowly gasps out) Penny, I only wanted to make this trip memorable for both of us. I know that this might be the last trip that we get to travel together and to make that happen I wanted to exhibit myself the way you wished for. All I wanted is that you remember me the way you wanted and cherish those memories.

Penny: Rad, shut the crap!! If you don’t have any feeling towards me then why do you want to act as if you are the one for me. I told you before as well, “Be the way you are and don’t try to express you the way I want!” But, You do this every damn time and never get to know how I feel about it!!!

This is how they fought again and that was the last time they saw each other. Later, both Rad and Penny realized what their mistakes were and apologized to each other. But, they never got a chance to meet each other. Penny got devastated for what has happened, as she could not make him fall for her nor can she still consider him to be a friend. Now, after so many months of not feeling his presence physically, she gradually came out of that phase. She then realized, loving or caring a person to an extent is fine, but giving your whole to them and hoping that you receive the same in return is something that affects you to a greater level.

All stories don’t have a happy ending. Love, what a beautiful feeling! True Love is to love without trying to change the other person. Here, Rad tried to show how self-less he is and wanted to mould Penny’s behavior and character. He never tried to understand what Penny was actually feeling and let her be herself. Try showing your true self and accept the way people are. Helping a person to change their behavior if you feel it’s wrong is okay, but give them space to change and if they don’t want to, then accept them as they are. Just because you hit rock bottom doesn’t mean you need to stay there. By ignoring little harsh things, your life will be much happier than it has ever been.

– By, Anonymous

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